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Kamala

APOLOGY TO THE LEAVES    The way I understand it, Autumn is the most sincere time of year.  I have always been deeply affected by the fall. It has the most character. It feels the most genuine.  I guess that is the way one behaves after all is said and done.  When I was younger, somewhere in my travels, I heard that the beautiful oranges, the deep reds, the vibrant and mellow yellows, these were the true colors of the leaves.  For preservation, leaves had some chemical or something in them that made them green. Once that chemical runs out, their true colors can be seen.  What a beautifully, tragic, inspirational thought.  You are the most beautiful when you can show your true self.  For preservation you hide your beauty.  Why do you do that?  Is a life without showing your beauty a life at all?  When will you start to live?  I can’t imagine that you would sacrifice your true beauty, your nature, your color, so that you could live a longer mundane life.  I hope it wasn’t my selfish judgmental behavior.  I hope it wasn’t all for my benefit. Living longer so I could be sheltered from the sun. Living so that I could breathe a little better.  I know what it is like. I have hidden my my(true)self for some sort of unsubstantiated manufactured idea of preservation.  It hurt.  Dimming the individual I was so I could exist amongst the masses, the crowd. I played along with everyone.  Green.  Not realizing that it wasn’t just me that was a deep, deep red. I didn’t know that everyone else was hiding their yellows and oranges.  Actually, I feel like if we would have been honest... I feel like if we could have been honest, from the beginning, we would have been so great.  Please don’t hide it. It is beautiful. I swear. They may or may not laugh at or mock you. But I promise you, it is so frikking beautiful.  I am so sorry I had a part in this. I am so sorry that you don’t show your color.  I swear you’re beautiful.  ... And if it is only in the Autumn, before you die, that you show yourself, I will be there to spend your last moments with you.

APOLOGY TO THE LEAVES

The way I understand it, Autumn is the most sincere time of year.

I have always been deeply affected by the fall. It has the most character. It feels the most genuine.
I guess that is the way one behaves after all is said and done.

When I was younger, somewhere in my travels, I heard that the beautiful oranges, the deep reds, the vibrant and mellow yellows, these were the true colors of the leaves.

For preservation, leaves had some chemical or something in them that made them green. Once that chemical runs out, their true colors can be seen.

What a beautifully, tragic, inspirational thought.

You are the most beautiful when you can show your true self.

For preservation you hide your beauty.

Why do you do that?
Is a life without showing your beauty a life at all?

When will you start to live?

I can’t imagine that you would sacrifice your true beauty, your nature, your color, so that you could live a longer mundane life.

I hope it wasn’t my selfish judgmental behavior.
I hope it wasn’t all for my benefit. Living longer so I could be sheltered from the sun. Living so that I could breathe a little better.

I know what it is like. I have hidden my my(true)self for some sort of unsubstantiated manufactured idea of preservation.

It hurt.

Dimming the individual I was so I could exist amongst the masses, the crowd. I played along with everyone.

Green.

Not realizing that it wasn’t just me that was a deep, deep red. I didn’t know that everyone else was hiding their yellows and oranges.

Actually, I feel like if we would have been honest... I feel like if we could have been honest, from the beginning, we would have been so great.

Please don’t hide it. It is beautiful. I swear. They may or may not laugh at or mock you. But I promise you, it is so frikking beautiful.

I am so sorry I had a part in this. I am so sorry that you don’t show your color.
I swear you’re beautiful.

... And if it is only in the Autumn, before you die, that you show yourself, I will be there to spend your last moments with you.

Kamala Doisneau Homage.jpg

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Kintsugi Me

Kintsugi me canvas.JPG

I sat trying to figure out which and how many images I would use for the series premiere.
After a lot of overthinking, and a little BSing, I acknowledged the fact that I knew what image I was supposed to use for the premiere.

On June 15th, 2018 I was run over by a car. It dragged me a bit and when I woke up, I was pinned underneath it.
That was a very interesting experience. There are so many beautiful realizations that have come from this experience, but that’s a completely different entry for another time.
The healing process though, has been a completely separate experience (which we’ll talk about now) that has taught me that patience is not only a virtue, it is a truth we must face. Patience is essentially the understanding that we have no control of anything. Anyway, one of the things that I was told, was that I should keep some of the contusions away from the sunlight because the pigment/melanin was gone and the sun would discolor those areas. My face was pretty banged up in the accident and there are definitely residual affects. since that time (which feels like forever… but patience…) I mostly keep my head covered, which leaves me walking around looking like an OG pirate.

The amazing thing, is that the perspective I have been blessed to receive from this experience, has helped a lot of the people that I’ve had conversations with. Even more impactful than me telling people what happened for me on June 15th, is showing them the scars I was left with. That usually elicits an “Oh my God, that was pretty serious.”.
That, is important.

Seeing the scars gives a weight to our conversation that does not exist without the credentials of experience.

This is Kintsugi You.

We are celebrating our experiences. Proof that we have endured, persevered.
I knew I needed to put a “selfie” in the show.

It took a while. I meditated on what I wanted to say. I needed to be in the right frame of mind. I don’t necessarily like being in front of the camera, but the entire point of being given the opportunity to come out of the other side of a life threatening experience is to share what we’ve learned.

So here it is.

Put on display last night and celebrating these scars.

(Recap part one)

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The Candids

Les for the book.jpg

There is a moment. If you miss it, it’s gone. If you could just see those moments. Just seize those moments.

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Mental Health (part 1)

I have been meaning to make this entry for quite a while but somehow kept getting sidetracked.
It comes from the alarming amount of social media posts about depression that I see from my friends.

As an artist, I understand what it is to be deeply in touch with feelings.
Even more, I know what it’s like to feel the need to express those feelings.
It’s hard as hell and it takes a lot of inner preparation.

So, I’ve decided to talk about what helps me and a little about the philosophy of thnwblk.
First off, I think that we are being conditioned more and more by social media.
Though it has a lot of amazing benefits, there are extreme dangers that come with it.

Seeing the perfectly curated lives of people can lead to misunderstandings about reality.
”Why aren’t I so lucky”
”Why wasn’t I invited”
It was once easy to ignore the fear of missing out. Now, you’re not only missing out, you’re getting highlights in real time.
Not only that, but for the first time, we have access to direct communication with… well, everyone. You don’t have to have your favorite celebrity’s phone number, they are only a DM away.
So close… so close you feel like maybe, you should shoot that shot. That shot usually misses, and somehow those misses hurt.
All in all, we are now living in an alternate reality while simultaneously being in the ‘reality’ we are in. The emotions experienced in the alternate reality, unfortunately, are experienced for real.

So, I just wanted to shed some light on how not to let things affect you so much.

starting with being liked.

Somehow, these alerts, those little hearts that pop up and say “you and your work and your outfit and your food and your selfie and all that you are is AMAZING” touch us profoundly. The quote comes to mind,

“people will believe anything you tell them, as long as it’s a compliment.”

Somehow, we get a rush of happy… straight to the brain. It makes us refresh and check back, as if we were on some sort of drug. Is it real though? I have shot imagery that I have posted, the model in the image has posted and the huge corporation/brand it was shot for has posted. Even though our followings were disproportionate, the ratio of “likes” the image received was way skewed respectively. So was it about me? was it my work? I actually saw my friends “loving it” on the brand’s and model’s pages while completely absent from my post. How do we process that?
For me, it’s all about listening for the lessons I am here to learn.
We are interested in inspiring. Inspiring people to be great versions of themselves. Through our art. Through our creations. We are little limited creators, with the DNA of the Ultimate Supreme Creator coursing throughout our beings. If the Supreme Creator has manifested an entire existence, yet given us free will to ignore Her/Him, how could we ever expect to create without giving that same freedom. Have you ever had to fight for something, and when you finally ‘won’ the other party gave it to you begrudgingly, or as if your whining and complaining forced them to ‘just let you have your way’? there is not a lot of satisfaction in that. So if the Supreme creator has given everything, yet allowed us to completely ignore Her/His existence, how chould we ever create or present anything in any other way. We have to give people the free will to experience us in their own way. It should not dictate how we create nor should we expect them to receive our art in a specific way.

This type of renunciation is crucial to us being happy. Our art has to come from a pure place, but how people receive it says more about them than you.

Okay it’s late, I have an early appointment but I will post part 2 on Monday (hopefully)

I will also follow up with this post.

Love you all,

Blk.

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Understand?

Funny how art works.
I had pretty specific intentions when I was putting this image together. 
Art doesn't quite work like that though does it?
Everyone gets a say. 
Opinions right? You know what they say.

I think I have mapped out how people will receive this,  but I'm always surprised when I hear other people's perception of art.

 I really want to hear what you think.

What is your interpretation?

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